Defection In The Ranks: A Conviction For Parents, Pastors, & Partners

As a parent of young children, I know that one day they will be teenagers, and shortly thereafter, they will likely be on their own in some form or another. At a minimum, that is still likely ten years away. That doesn't keep me fretting about their future. That's why it concerns me when I see statistics about how many youth walk away from the church between the ages of 18-22.

At a glance of quick surveys, the number cited seems to be about two-thirds, meaning that about two-thirds of those surveyed said they turned from the church at that time. Now there are some qualifying factors that I must confess to there. First, I just glanced at several surveys from reputable groups (Lifeway, Gallup, and Pew, to name a few) and saw they were similar. I've not put a lot of thought into it, and I haven't looked up competing stats to show how many of those who walked away eventually came back. So, I don't think I am justified in sounding some alarm on my information.

However, I can share a couple of aspects I have been thinking about. First, though my “research” is limited, experience has shown those stats of two-thirds to be reasonably close. Experience isn't everything, so on that alone, I wouldn't sound the alarm either. For me, though, there is a greater concern than statistics. I am simply bothered by how many youths defect from the faith.

The reasons given for why a young person turns aside from the church (and even supposed faith in Christ) are varied. Most frequently, they say it was a change in life circumstances, such as moving away to college or not living with parents and so longer being held accountable. On a lesser scale are things like not agreeing with the church's stance on social issues. And, of course, there is the obvious one: lack of belief.

Whatever the reason, though, I think each of these points to something critical. A lack of discipleship. It is true that we can do everything 100% perfectly on our side of the relationship (of course, we won't), and there is still no guarantee that our youth will not turn from the Lord. Yet, are we willing to let the next generation perish because they may still defect even if we disciple fully and thoroughly? I hope the answer is no. The Great Commission is still a command, and it is still the means by which the Lord has oriented His people toward Him. The conviction should be for us to embrace discipleship even more.

As we see our youth turning aside from the things of the Lord, what can we do? I think it depends on our relationship and role in our youth’s life. How we encourage and disciple them can look different and so consider how you can help the youth you know in the following ways:

• Parents: As a parent, the primary burden for your child’s spiritual life is on you (Deuteronomy 6:1-7). Discipleship begins in the home with you shepherding and stewarding your children, both for the Lord and toward the Lord. This may look different based on the home, but it must begin somewhere. Most are not doing anything, so start somewhere.

• Partners: Maybe they are not just your own children that you are considering, but you have an influence in the lives of other children. Without usurping the children’s parents, offer godly counsel . . . or direct them to godly counsel (like the Word or their parents). Offer ongoing accountability and exhortation that they may see the goodness of the Lord at work in you.

• Pastors: Finally, for pastors, be vigilant regarding the spiritual health of the youth around you and focus on their discipleship as much as you do the adults. Partner them with a godly individual if needed. Also, support and shepherd the parents in their faithfulness to disciples their children.

These are their formative years, and we should utilize them for the Lord's glory by stewarding our youth through discipleship.

Discipleship is the means by which the Lord continues to work in the lives of people, and so it is the means by which he will capture the hearts and minds of our youth as well. On that point alone, we should engage with it more freely and willingly. The research might reveal something more specific. Maybe it will tell us particular areas to address or give us insights. I don't know. What I do know is that I don't need statistics to make me concerned about the future of our youth and that by itself brings about conviction, conviction to fulfill my role as a steward of the gospel of the grace of God. Maybe this is an area where we need to grow in conviction together.

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